What's Hot? Apparently, Fake Green Lawns Are

When I was a kiddo, summers were overcast, winters were temperate, rain was abundant, and most plant life in my world was green. I thought anything over 70 was hot. Visits to the capital city were excruciating, as, among other things, we had no a/c in our car. My memories of hotter-than-70 involve melted popsicles, sticky car backseats, and a lot of pop (though I've grown to understand we properly call it soda on this coast). Since moving to the valley over a decade ago, I've learned to deal with heat by walking on the shady side of the road, drawing the blinds on a sunny day, keeping an icy beverage handy, wearing sleeveless shirts, and making good use of the ceiling fans. Now, 94 degrees is eminently doable. I've been known to pull a bike trailer carrying a 2year old in 94. 94 is a-okay. Yesterday we hit 103, though. This is significantly over the 95 cited as a limit recently by an old pal, and significantly over my threshold, as well.

This leads me to the topic of fake grass. Apparently they've got artificial lawns now that look like the real thing. Patt Morrison at the LA Times has a spin on the whole thing that hadn't even occurred to me - the heat angle. For those of us hiding from the triple digits, the thought of replacing the patch of nature (whether it be green or brown) with a patch of non-biodegradable matter that actually raises the temps around my house, well, that thought just doesn't get very far in this already heat-addled brain.

But my lingering question is this: what happens to the bird poop and the dead bugs? Do they decompose into the fake grass? Do they just build up into nastiness that requires periodic hosedowns (into the storm drains - not so great)?