This Must Be What They Were Going For

When I was a young and energetic twenty-something, I spent several summers guiding whitewater rafts on overnight trips through a river canyon all set about with dogwoods and cottonwillows. This Elephant's Child was not a drinker, but some of my fellow river guides were known to down a few beers on occasion. On nights we weren't working, we all bunked down in "the guide house", a non-descript little house in town. This house had a gravel garden up front (in which some neighborhood boys cleverly dug a hole and buried my solar-powered battery charger). Out back, it had a brown lawn. On a hot summer evening after downing a few of the aforementioned beverages, some of my fellow guides would make a quick trip out back "to water the lawn". For some reason, the lawn never turned green, but apparently, beer does work for this purpose.

Lead Foot

I knew there was some other reason I didn't feel good about fake lawns. I lifted this from CUWCC's website:

Potential Exposure to Lead in Artificial Turf
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an official health advisory regarding potential exposure to lead in artificial turf grass. When athletic field samples in Newark, New Jersey tested positive for high levels of lead, the New Jersey Department of Health and Senior Services and the Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry were prompted to issue this warning on June 18, 2008.

CDC Health Advisory

Following the announcement, the San Diego County Water Authority (SDCWA) has placed its turf grass rebate program on hold. Any further decisions regarding program will be made when further clear and reliable becomes available.

SDCWA's Suspension of its Turf Grass Rebate

What's Hot? Apparently, Fake Green Lawns Are

When I was a kiddo, summers were overcast, winters were temperate, rain was abundant, and most plant life in my world was green. I thought anything over 70 was hot. Visits to the capital city were excruciating, as, among other things, we had no a/c in our car. My memories of hotter-than-70 involve melted popsicles, sticky car backseats, and a lot of pop (though I've grown to understand we properly call it soda on this coast). Since moving to the valley over a decade ago, I've learned to deal with heat by walking on the shady side of the road, drawing the blinds on a sunny day, keeping an icy beverage handy, wearing sleeveless shirts, and making good use of the ceiling fans. Now, 94 degrees is eminently doable. I've been known to pull a bike trailer carrying a 2year old in 94. 94 is a-okay. Yesterday we hit 103, though. This is significantly over the 95 cited as a limit recently by an old pal, and significantly over my threshold, as well.

This leads me to the topic of fake grass. Apparently they've got artificial lawns now that look like the real thing. Patt Morrison at the LA Times has a spin on the whole thing that hadn't even occurred to me - the heat angle. For those of us hiding from the triple digits, the thought of replacing the patch of nature (whether it be green or brown) with a patch of non-biodegradable matter that actually raises the temps around my house, well, that thought just doesn't get very far in this already heat-addled brain.

But my lingering question is this: what happens to the bird poop and the dead bugs? Do they decompose into the fake grass? Do they just build up into nastiness that requires periodic hosedowns (into the storm drains - not so great)?

Of Course, My 5 Year Old Could Have Told You That...

Matt Weiser scrutinizes the City again. The headline is "Sacramento's Approach To Water Meter System Faulty, Some Experts Say":

"Sacramento lacks a comprehensive plan and expert advice for its massive water-meter installation project, raising the risk, industry observers say, that expensive components won't be able to communicate with each other.

A draft plan for the state-mandated $400 million project contains dozens of blank sections, including the one on equipment specifications, a Bee review found, and it takes an approach not recommended by experts in the field." (my emphasis)

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